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Disappearing panties
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It was the first summer out of high school when I had an experience that I didn’t quite understand, but knew I wanted again . I had been raised very conservatively and made afraid of my own body and desires . During a long weekend of celebrating with family and friends around the pool I took a short break and went inside . I started toward my room but stopped at the door after hearing my dresser drawer closing . I became quiet but walked closer and was able to see something that changed everything for me . An older friend of the family who lived down our street had opened one of my dresser drawers . I still remember my heart beginning to beat faster and the heat rising in my chest . He had taken a pair of my favorite panties and was holding them to his face . I never had the feelings I experienced , but I couldn’t move or look away . He breathed them in deeply while he touched himself . My insides shook but I did not look away . It was the first time I remember being wet . I knew I should leave , but I couldn’t . I watched a few minutes then tiptoed down my hallway to the bathroom and locked the door . I was still shaking when I lowered my bathing suit bottoms . I was swollen and sensitive. This was the first time I masturbated . I came after a few light touches . When I went back outside he was already there and everyone was having a good time . It was all I could think about . Later I went back inside to my room and everything was how I left it , except for the panties. They were gone . For reasons I didn’t understand at the time this didn’t bother me . Just the opposite. I locked the door and immediately masturbated again . After that day , whenever he would be there , I would intentionally leave a pair of unwashed panties I had worn in my drawer , on the very top of the others . I knew it was my scent he had been inhaling that excited him . I never saw him in my room again but for a couple of summers the panties were always gone after he left . As I matured I would revisit that day in my mind and masturbate furiously and often . I have never shared this, even with my closest friends but when I finally left home for college I began trying to recreate that day . I always had roommates and when their boyfriends would stay over I made a point of having some very worn pairs lying openly in my bedroom. Several times they would be missing and , once again , I would lock my door . I never wanted this from any of the men I dated , only those I casually knew . This has become a theme throughout my adult life , but increasingly difficult and dangerous to arrange . I’ve left pairs “ accidentally “ at friends homes where I knew the husbands would see them first . It has never been spoken about ,but they have also never been returned. I don’t have to lock my door anymore but it just hasn’t happened enough to be satisfying. I now know this is much more common and intensely desired by a man than I did then .I do not know if other women have the same desire equally. I do know that , for me , it is the most wonderfully erotic experience I have ever had and I want more . I want to know the man who is breathing me in and I want to do things for him . Once again I am shaking and the heat is rising as I write this . The thought of this kind of relationship with a man is ecstasy. My body stays on the verge as I anticipate it .
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