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Masturbation in Hopes of More

The night was warm and dark. Only faint moonlight illuminated the path of the paved country road as I walked down it. The stars overhead were beautiful yet I was lost in thought. As I walked along I couldn’t help but think that there was something missing in my life. By virtually all standards I had been successful, driven, popular, and made wise decisions. I guess I never considered myself wealthy, however, I had enough money where I could do what I wanted, and as long as I wasn’t stupid about it I was living within my means. I had no significant worries.

My thoughts were directed and longing, and as things have developed for me these thoughts were becoming more frequent. I guess at this point, it was more of a realization to me. I needed more sex. I had had meaningful relationships in my life, and felt good about those, however, with a sheltered upbringing sex wasn’t an experience until a bit later for me. I lost my virginity one night to a nice woman that I dated for a few years. Once I experienced sex, I realized that it was wonderful. It took me a little while to wrestle with the mental idea of “fornication”, but oh my… Once I had experienced the joy of intercourse, it was apparent that I could place my childhood ideals in the proper place. My girlfriend and I fucked eachother silly for a year or so. While it was a decent fit, we weren’t right for marriage so we eventually split. I had learned a bit about myself, and what I desired. My sex drive was high and I enjoyed to pleasure a woman. I had a few other flings and learned a bit more about myself, however, at this point, it was apparent to me I needed more.

I guess at that point I realized that the sexual gratification I yearned for was probably not that of a conventional relationship. A relationship would be nice, but I needed raw fucking and I needed a lot of it frequently. All throughout my life I had been a fan of pornography and masturbation, yet through sex I realized that there was more. I realized that there was a lot more. My kinky study, fantasy, and experiences had led me to believe that I needed to be a swinger. The road for a single male in the swinger lifestyle wasn’t easy or quick. It would be nice to have a significant other in the lifestyle, however, I had a range of fantasies, that were simply beyond what one partner could provide, or at least the conventional good partners that I had found to that point.

I was not gay, however, had come to the realization that I really wanted to fuck in a threesome with a man and woman couple. It definitely would have to be the right couple, since I was suspicious that not all couples would even be open to this. I also wanted a couple that I could trust again and again so that ideally things could progress to bareback. I wanted to be part of a group sex event, the scene, the sights, the smell of sex, and sounds of pleasure in the air. I guess I needed to be a swinger.

My thoughts had led me to an erection which was being constrained in my pants. I hesitated a bit at the intersection of two paved country roads, and then I had an idea. I guess it was a good idea, or at least a pleasurable one. I looked both ways, with no headlights to be seen, I was alone. The early summer corn was high enough that I could safely seek shelter if suddenly needed. This idea, seemed like a good one or at least OK, it would be an enjoyable and fun one. I had decided that I was about to plunge myself into the life of a swinger. (Granted a single male swinger is common, or less desirable, but with some hard work and dedication, I was sure that I could work at it and accomplish my goals.) What better way to personally commemorate my plan than to consummate it in the intersection of two paved country roads in the middle of the night. I stripped my clothes, and tossed them to the shoulder of the road, until I was completely naked standing in the intersection. My penis was now fully erect and I anticipated the release of orgasm even if it was only through masturbation. I looked at the night sky, the stars, and the dimly lit horizons off in the distance. It was beautiful, and I felt wonderful. It was good to be naked, it was good to not have my penis constrained to my pants, and I had decided that I was going to embark on this new lifestyle. I didn’t want to look back. It was going to be fun.

I stood in the intersection stroking my penis. I talked to God at normal speaking volume, I was stating a pledge for myself. I talked about my desires for more sex, I spoke of my desire for being a swinger. I talked about desires for group sex and threesomes as well as finding the right partner along the way. I had spent too much of my life thinking with my brain, and I wanted to use the head on my penis more. I wanted to be careful, but I was eager and expecting to enjoy the journey. I wanted to share creampies, and partners, and have fun. It was going to be a wild ride. As I stroked my raging erection, I felt my orgasm building. My final thought was also a statement asking God to help lead me safely down this path, so that I could experience the deisres I sought, yet safely have fun, and even perhaps to give me a sign. I thought with my last reservation, perhaps if I am interrupted at this critical moment before orgasm that may indicate the need to reconsider.

Much as I expected and desired the interruption never came. The night was quite except for my talk and the buzz of insects. No headlights were off in the distance. My consummating orgasm pleasurably arrived and I grunted and moaned with delight. My penis spewed forth ropes of cum that I heard splash on the pavement, and as far as orgasms while masturbating I experienced one of the most fulfilling of my life.

I thought to myself what a fun start and turned to the shoulder of the road to pick up my clothing. As I gathered my clothing, my hand bumped a hard item. I guess it was some form of trash, oh well… I folded my clothes. There was no reason to hastily dress, it was nice to be naked in the warm night air. I would walk with them a bit. As I looked at the road in the dim moonlight to assure that I had gathered all my garments, I could see the lighter colored cylindrical object I had assumed to be trash. I bent to pick it up. It was plastic hard on one end, but sleeved in softer rubbery sheath. After a moment of inspection in the darkness, I came to realize that I had stumbled on a discarded woman’s vibrator. This item had probably been used for someone’s pleasure, led them to orgasm, and then maybe been discarded when not appropriate for location or impending company. In any regard, HOW IS THIS FOR A FUCKING SIGN?!!!. So not knowing its specifics or details, I didn’t want to use it as a sex item without a little cleaning first, but I had gotten another good sexual rush, and was planning to keep this treasure for my start of my new planned adventure. I guess it was kind of like a blessing, or a sign if you will.

I had a dirty thought. It was too soon for me to orgasm again, but with a little effort I found a splash of my semen on the pavment and did my best to wipe some of the precious fluid on the vibrator. I was planning to clean it, however, it was going to smell of more sex first.

Well things progressed from that night when I masturbated at the intersection and found the vibrator. I began reaching out to swingers through an interesting chat website called “swinglifestyle”. I would read profiles, write responses, save messages, and occasionally film especially interesting submissions. My goal was to find some of the sexual adventure that I desired, and hopefully have momentos of the process, ultimately being able to cherish the memories that led me to the sexual expression that I was seeking. It would be cool to hopefully be able to chronical the journey in a journal and video clips. Ultimately I wanted to be able to document my journey for my own enjoyment from the point to determining that I needed more and wanted to try swinging to successful contacts, to hopefully, the gratification of a threesome fuck fest, or group sex activity. Why not, it was a good goal, I could work hard, and I anticipated that the journey was going to be fun. I sure figured that I would learn a lot about myself.

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